Forced Bi

What Forced Bi Is

Forced bi is a scene or ongoing dynamic in which a Dominant partner "makes" a submissive partner engage sexually with someone of the same gender. The engagement can be real, with a third person, or symbolic, with a dildo, a strap-on or nothing but words.

The word "forced" works the same way it does in forced orgasm or forced feminization. It describes the story being played, not what is actually happening. Every act in the scene has been agreed beforehand, and the submissive keeps a safeword the whole time. Structurally it is a narrow, specific form of consensual non-consent: reluctance is performed, and consent is real.

The most common configuration by far is a straight-identifying man with a female Dominant, often inside a cuckolding dynamic where he is directed to service her other partner. It is not limited to that. There are male-Dom, male-sub versions, versions where women are the ones directed, and versions involving trans and nonbinary partners. What they share is the shape: one person directs, the other is directed toward same-gender contact, and the direction is the erotic charge.

The Forms It Takes

Forced bi covers a wide range of intensity, and most people who are into it never go near the far end.

Fantasy and dirty talk. The Dominant narrates what they will make their partner do, during sex or masturbation, and no third person ever appears. This is probably the most common form, and for many people it is the whole of the kink rather than a step toward something else. See dirty talk.

Toys and strap-ons. The submissive is directed to perform oral sex on a dildo, or receives anal play from a strap-on, while the Dominant frames the toy as another partner. This overlaps heavily with pegging and keeps the whole scene between two people.

A real third person. A guest, a regular play partner or, in cuckolding, the "bull." This is the form that needs the most negotiation, because it adds someone with their own consent, limits and health to protect.

Inside feminization play. Some scenes combine it with sissification, where same-gender contact becomes one of the things a feminized submissive is directed to do. The two are distinct kinks and plenty of people enjoy one without the other.

Online content. There is a large genre of forced bi erotica, audio and instructional video. Consuming it is its own thing, and it does not have to imply wanting any of it in person.

Bi encouragement. A gentler cousin. The Dominant praises and coaxes rather than degrades, framing same-gender desire as something being drawn out of the submissive rather than imposed on them. Some people start with forced bi and drift toward encouragement as the curiosity underneath becomes more comfortable to own.

Why It Appeals

There is no peer-reviewed study of forced bi specifically. What does exist is research on the things it is built from, and it gives a fairly clear picture.

The fantasy is common. In Justin Lehmiller's survey of 4,175 American adults for Tell Me What You Want, about a quarter of men who identified as exclusively heterosexual (26%) and well over half of exclusively heterosexual women (59%) said they had fantasized about sex with someone of the same gender. Lehmiller also noted that straight men's same-sex fantasies often included a woman in the scene, which is exactly the shape of the classic forced bi scenario.

Permission. The explanation practitioners give most often is that being "made to" removes the need to choose. Someone who would feel shame about wanting same-gender contact can have it framed as obedience instead of desire. This is a plausible part of the picture, but it should be held loosely. The closest tested parallel, a 2012 study of women's force fantasies by Bivona, Critelli and Clark, found little support for the idea that people fantasize about force to avoid blame. Openness to sexual experience explained more.

Power exchange. For many people the gender of the third partner matters less than the act of being directed. Doing something you would not have picked, because someone you trust told you to, is the core of power exchange in any form. Forced bi simply chooses one of the most charged things a person can be directed toward.

Taboo and humiliation. Crossing a line you were raised to treat as fixed is intense. For people who enjoy humiliation, being seen doing it, especially by a partner who set it up, adds a second layer of exposure.

Serving the Dominant. Some submissives describe the main pleasure as their partner's pleasure. The Dominant finds it hot, so doing it becomes an act of devotion.

Most people experience several of these at once, in different proportions, and the mix can shift over time.

Does It Mean You're Bi?

This is the question most people searching the term are quietly asking, and the honest answer is: it might, and it might not, and a scene cannot decide it for you.

Research on sexual fluidity is consistent that attraction, fantasy, behavior and identity often do not line up neatly. In a study Lisa Diamond presented in 2014, about a quarter of heterosexual men reported some recent same-sex attraction, 24% had masturbated to a same-sex fantasy in the past year, and 9% had had same-sex contact in that time, all while identifying as straight. National US survey data she reviewed in 2016 showed the same pattern: more men report same-sex attraction or contact than identify as gay or bisexual.

Ritch Savin-Williams' work on "mostly straight" men describes a large group who are primarily attracted to women but not exclusively, and sex therapist Joe Kort draws a distinction between sexual orientation and erotic orientation: some people are drawn to an act or a dynamic rather than to a gender. Both frames fit some forced bi enthusiasts well.

There is also a less comfortable possibility worth naming. For some people, "forced" is the only framing under which they let themselves explore a genuine attraction. That is not a problem with the kink, but it is worth noticing. If the only way same-gender desire is allowed in is as punishment, the shame may be worth looking at outside the bedroom too, ideally with a kink-aware therapist.

None of these outcomes is the wrong one. Enjoying forced bi does not make anyone bisexual, and enjoying it and later identifying as bi does not mean the kink was a cover story. Identity is something a person works out over time, not something a scene can impose or prove.

The Third Person Is Not a Prop

The fantasy usually centers on the submissive and the Dominant, and that is exactly the risk. The person on the other end of the "forced" contact can end up treated as scenery.

• They need their own negotiation. Not a summary passed along by the Dominant, but a direct conversation about what they will and will not do.
• They need to know what kind of scene it is. Someone who is told afterward that their participation was framed as degrading for the submissive may reasonably feel used. Tell them in advance.
• They have a safeword too. The scene stops if any of the three people stops it.
• They are not there to be humiliated by proxy. If the scene treats contact with them as disgusting, that lands on them as a real person. Keep the degradation pointed where it was agreed.
• Meet first. A drink or a coffee before anything sexual, sober, with no expectation that it goes further that night.

The real-world version of this scenario can also slide into coercion, which is the clearest reason for care. Breanne Fahs' 2009 interviews with women found many had felt pressured to perform bisexuality to please male partners, which is the forced bi fantasy with the consent removed. Inside a negotiated scene, "made to" is a script. Outside one, it is pressure, and the two must never be confused.

When the Humiliation Leans on Real Stigma

Much forced bi content runs on a single idea: that same-gender desire is shameful, and being made to act on it is therefore humiliating. That idea is not invented for the bedroom. Bisexual people meet it constantly outside it. Research by Friedman and colleagues in 2014 found that bisexual men face particularly strong stereotypes, including being seen as "actually gay," confused, or going through a phase.

That does not make the kink off-limits, and plenty of thoughtful players enjoy it. It does make it worth asking which of two things is driving the scene:

• Humiliation from the power dynamic. Being directed, being obedient, being watched, not getting a say. This kind of humiliation works with any act.
• Humiliation from the act's supposed meaning. The idea that same-gender sex says something degrading about you. This is the version that borrows from real prejudice.

Many players keep the scene running on the first and drop the second, and find it loses nothing. If a submissive is themselves bi-curious, a scene built heavily on the second can also do quiet damage afterward, reinforcing shame about a desire they may later want to own. See humiliation psychology for how consensual humiliation differs from the real thing.

Negotiating a Forced Bi Scene

Negotiation for forced bi needs to be more specific than for most scenes, because "bi stuff" can mean anything from a sentence of dirty talk to unprotected anal sex with a stranger. Have the conversation sober, outside the bedroom, and be explicit about:

• Which acts are on the table. Kissing, touching, oral giving and receiving, anal giving and receiving, each listed separately. A yes to one is not a yes to the next.
• Toy, third person or talk only. And if a third person, who, and whether it is a one-off or open-ended.
• The language. Which words are hot and which are off-limits. Slurs in particular need an explicit answer, never an assumption.
• How much "reluctance" will be performed. A submissive who acts out resistance needs a safeword that is clearly separate from the resistance, as in any CNC scene.
• Who knows. Photos, video and anyone being told about it afterward. Outing someone, even accidentally, is a real-world harm.
• Alcohol and drugs. Keep them out, or at least well below the line where anyone's judgement about consent is affected.
• What happens if someone wants to stop. Including the Dominant, and including the third person.

Use a traffic-light safeword system so the submissive can slow things down without ending them. Put hard limits in writing if that helps. See hard and soft limits and scene negotiation.

Sexual Health With a New Partner

A straight-identifying person whose regular sexual health routine assumes opposite-gender partners may have gaps they have never had a reason to notice. A few things are worth knowing before a scene with a real third person.

Test the sites that were exposed. A standard check-up often only tests urine and blood. The CDC recommends that men who have anal sex with men test for rectal chlamydia and gonorrhea, and that those who give oral sex test the throat for gonorrhea. Tell the clinic what you actually did.

PrEP and doxy-PEP. PrEP reduces the risk of getting HIV from sex by about 99% when taken as prescribed, according to the CDC, and it does nothing for other STIs. Doxy-PEP, a dose of doxycycline taken within 72 hours after sex, is recommended by the CDC for some gay and bisexual men and trans women and has reduced syphilis and chlamydia by more than 70% in studies. A sexual health clinic can tell you whether either is right for you.

Barriers. Condoms for anal and oral sex, a fresh condom when moving from anal to anything else, and water- or silicone-based lubricant with latex, since oil weakens it.

Anal basics. The anus does not lubricate itself, so use plenty of lube and reapply. Start small, go slowly, and let the receiving person control the pace. Pain is a signal to stop, not something to push through. Anything inserted that is not attached to a person needs a flared base.

Ask everyone. The third person's testing status, and the Dominant's if they are playing too, are part of the negotiation, not an awkward afterthought.

Aftercare and Identity Drop

Forced bi touches identity in a way most scenes do not, and the aftermath can reflect that. A scene that felt electric can be followed, sometimes a day or two later, by shame, anxiety, confusion about what it meant, or a sudden need to reassure yourself about who you are. This is a form of sub drop, and it is common enough to plan for.

• Immediately after: ordinary closeness with the Dominant, water, warmth, and some explicit reassurance that nothing has changed between you.
• The third person gets aftercare too. Even a brief check-in and a thank-you matters.
• A next-day check-in. Agree it in advance, because the hard feelings often arrive after everyone has gone home. See checking in.
• Talk about it out of role. What felt good, what felt off, and whether anything the scene stirred up is worth thinking about further. Approaching that with curiosity rather than judgement makes the next conversation easier.

Post-orgasm regret is also common with this kink in particular. Something that was intensely hot five minutes ago can feel embarrassing once arousal drops. That shift is normal and does not mean the scene was a mistake. Waiting a day before deciding how you feel about it is usually wise. See aftercare.

Related BDSM Terms & Practices

• See cuckolding, the dynamic forced bi most often sits inside
• Read sissification for the feminization play it often overlaps with
• Explore consensual non-consent for the framework behind performed reluctance
• Understand humiliation and degradation for the emotional engine of many scenes
• Review pegging for the strap-on form that keeps it between two people
• Learn about threesomes for the practicalities of adding a third person

Key Takeaways

Forced bi is a consensual scene in which a Dominant directs a submissive into same-gender contact, real or symbolic. The force is a script: everything is negotiated beforehand and a safeword ends it. Fantasies like it are common, including among people who identify as straight, and the appeal tends to come from a mix of power exchange, taboo, permission and devotion rather than any one thing. Enjoying it neither proves nor disproves anything about orientation. The responsibilities are specific: negotiate each act separately, treat any third person as a full participant who knows what kind of scene they are joining, notice whether the humiliation is running on the power dynamic or on real-world stigma, test the sites that were actually exposed, and plan aftercare for feelings about identity that can arrive a day or two later.

Sources

• Lehmiller, J. J. (2018). Tell Me What You Want. Survey findings summarised at Psychology Today.
• Diamond, L. M. (2014). Sexual fluidity in heterosexual men, presented at SPSP, as reported by Sex and Psychology.
• Diamond, L. M. (2016). Sexual fluidity in male and females. Current Sexual Health Reports, 8, 249–256.
• Savin-Williams, R. C., Rieger, G., & Rosenthal, A. M. (2013). Physiological evidence for a mostly heterosexual orientation among men. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 42, 697–699.
• Kort, J. (2020). Straight guise: understanding male sexual fluidity. Psychology Today.
• Bivona, J. M., Critelli, J. W., & Clark, M. J. (2012). Women's rape fantasies: an empirical evaluation of the major explanations. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 41, 1107–1119.
• Fahs, B. (2009). Compulsory bisexuality? The challenges of modern sexual fluidity. Journal of Bisexuality, 9(3–4), 431–449.
• Friedman, M. R., et al. (2014). From bias to bisexual health disparities: attitudes toward bisexual men and women in the United States. LGBT Health, 1(4), 309–318.
• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. PrEP; STI screening for men who have sex with men; Doxy-PEP guidelines (2024).

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